‘Awesome campaign!! #skincare’

Brighton Beach didn’t quite know what hit it on Sunday! The sun was out, the promenades were abustle, and the beach was busy too. But what’s this, a young man in sun-drenched dungarees thrusting a flimsy newspaper into my hands, and four sachets! In large bright letters, I read: ‘Breaking news: The UK’s No. 1 vitamin C serum just got better & better.’

My first and rather cynical thought was how can something, anything, be both getting better and better (which implies something happening over time), and be breaking news (something happening in the moment).

What exactly is a serum, was my next thought. Admittedly, I’m an aging human, and male, so perhaps I’ve missed something. Is it a face cream, a sun cream, a youth elixir? Here’s a dictionary definition of serum: ‘An amber-coloured, protein-rich liquid which separates out when blood coagulates’. Oh! That doesn’t sound very nice. Why would I want that?

I should read the newspaper, I thought (which is called The Brighter News). Here we go: ‘C the Bright Side. Garnier’s Vitamin C Brightening Serum may just be the ray of sunshine you’ve been looking for.’ So, it’s not just a serum but a ‘brightening serum’. But what is that? I need to read more from The Brighter News: ‘Its lightweight non-sticky fast-absorbed formula is clinically proven to reduce hyperpigmentation in 2 weeks. The benefits of Vitamin C are clinically proven. It helps brighten skin and reduce the appearance of hyperpigmentation. 99% of women tested agree their skin was left glowing.’ Wow, that’s a great stat, but not for me, a mere man.

Turning to the inside of the newsletter, I read that to celebrate this ‘breaking news’ (i.e. that the UK’s No. 1 vitamin C serum just got better & better), Garnier employees ran from Dull in Scotland to Bright(on) on the south coast telling ‘everyone along the way’ and handing out 250,000 Garnier sachets. Online, in the socials, I find a post by savannahsachdev, one of the runners, who found the while experience ‘awesome’.

Finally, in case you are thinking that Garnier’s Brightening Serum may be all you need for a happy and long life, I hate to disappoint you. Elsewhere in The Brighter News is a recommended daily brightening routine. This involves five stages, and five Garnier products. Vitamin C Micellar Water; Vitamin C Brightening Liquid Care; Vitamin C Brightening Serum; Vitamin C Brightening Eye Cream; and SPF. Good luck,